omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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