nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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