what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
