She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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