As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize