I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize