Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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