we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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