I feel great
I just peed on a car
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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