As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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