we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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