Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
