I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
