That's when you crack a 10am beer
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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