My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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