Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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