it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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