no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
