I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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