Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize