I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
