i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
