just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
