So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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