No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
