Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
