I must be too annoying 4 u.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
