No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
