Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize