At least make sure they are 18
Why
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
