What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
