your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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