You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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