jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
