Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
