The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Drunk is not a location!
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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