so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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