She said her name was "party"
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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