but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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