We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
