those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize