found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
