Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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