grandma shit on top of the toilet
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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