so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
