I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
