i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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