Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
