i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
