Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
