Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
