I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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