Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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