I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
birth control should be required to get into college
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
