We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
