i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
