Acid is not a monday night drug
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
